Rumple Rhymes
by Snapegirlkmf
Summary: Bae and Belle were stuck in the house with nothing to do on a cold cold wet day . . until a golden skinned imp named Rumple came to play. Oh what did they do, those two and the imp, on that cold cold wet day? Would you like to know? Then come and see the show! Parody of OUAT and The Cat in the Hat.


**Rumple Rhymes**

**(some text borrowed from The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss)**

**A OUAT parody**

**A/N: I was stuck at the hospital all day with my dad thinking he was going to be discharged after his surgery but he's not and this was what I wrote to keep myself from being bored out of my mind. **

The sun wasn't shining, it was too wet to play, so they sat in the house all that cold cold wet day. They sat there and sat there, Belle and Bae, with nothing to do. The clock struck two and Belle heaved a sigh down to her shoe. "Oh, how I wish we had something to do!"

"Me too!" Bae cried. "It's too wet to go outside."

"Can't play ball, can't do anything at all!"

All they could do was sit, sit, SIT! Bae and Belle did not like it, not one little bit!

When all of a sudden they heard a loud BUMP!

Oh, how they jumped when they heard something BUMP!

It came from the hall . . .so Bae ran to see . . .and there on the mat . . .was a strange little man!

He was dressed in leather pants, like the pirates of Penzance, and he was quite small, a wee golden-skinned imp, with curly dark hair, who giggled and said, "Hello, dearie! It's a fine day to stand on your head!"

"Stand on my head? Oh no, not at all!" Bae gasped as the imp came into the house. "Wait! What are you doing? You shouldn't be here!"

"Why not? It's all wet and you have nothing to fear! For I, Rumplestiltskin, am here!"

"Rumplestilskin!" Belle shouted. "Why what an interesting name!"

"Thank you, dearie. Tis mine, and no name's the same!"

"It's awfully long," Bae said.

"Oh, just call me Rumple," he laughed. "Rumple Bumple Stilt Scumple!"

Belle clapped her hands. "You're funny!"

"Good, now let's play!" the imp giggled and twirled his gold headed cane.

Purple sparks shot out, shot out in a wave. "Oops! I think I broke a window pane!"

"Broke a window! My mom's gonna kill us!" Bae yelled. "maybe you should go."

"Oh dearie dearie dear, please don't say so!" Rumple made a sad face, the saddest face I know. "Please don't send me away! I know a new game we can play!"

"Ooh" cried Belle. "Bae, let's play! Mom won't care, she's out for the day and has no time to play."

Bae stared at his sister. "Are you out of your mind? Mom said no strangers in the house, any time!"

"Oh, I'm sure she won't mind, not one little bit," Rumple said, and he giggled and hopped, the cane spinning faster and faster . . .

Until it stopped . . .

. . .and caused the goldfish to fly up in the air!

"Whoo hoo! How's the view from up there?"

Rumple called, as the fish almost splashed down onto the floor.

"Look out!" Bae cried. "He almost fell through the door!"

So Rumple set the fish down and giggled some more.

"Have no fear, look at this!" and he balanced the fish

On top of his cane, and then he took a tea cup

And put it on top of the fish, and said, "Whassup?"

The cup began to wobble, to shake, and then topple.

"Rumple Bumple, it's gonna take a tumble!"

The cup fell to the floor.

Belle picked it up. "Oh, no! Look, it's chipped!" And a tear fell from her eye.

"Dearie, don't cry!" Rumple patted her head. "I can fix it right up."

"No, it's okay. It's a small chip," Belle said. "I like it like that."

But would her mother like it that way? Heaven only knew what she would say!

Then Rumple jumped up and down. "Look at me! Look at me! For that's not all! Dearies, I can balance a fish, a ball, and a cake on my cane! And look I can twirl!"

He spun around like a top, his glittery skin glowing, and then did a dance. A funny kind of jumpy bumpy rumply dance.

A dance in leather pants!

Balancing the ball, the cake, and the fish on his cane!

And then he conjured a toy train!

To add to the fun, then he cried, "Come on, dearies, the fun's just begun!"

He ran into the den, giggling like a right jolly old imp, balancing everything up, up, UP!

Then he flicked his wrist and they all vanished!

Snap! Crackle! Pop!

They vanished into thin air!

They were no longer there!

"Where'd they go?"

"They're gone!"

"Now what?"

"Look at this!" Rumple cried in glee. "Watch me!"

And he conjured a wheel, that spun round and round.

Round and round! Round and round!

In a great big circle!

"Watch me! Watch me!"

"What shall we see?"

"You shall see me . . .spin straw into gold!"

"Straw into gold? But nobody can do that, we're told!"

Bae shook his head.

"I can! I can! Just watch it unfold!"

He then did as he had told . . .and spun straw into gold!

Straw into gold! Straw into gold!

"Wow! You really did it!" Belle swooned, she couldn't get over

The imp in his pants, who chuckled and giggled and made her want to dance

A jig round the room, inbetween mom's plants.

"That's so cool! You rule!"

Bae cheered. "Show us some more!"

"Ahh ahh!" the imp shook a finger. "That's not how you ask!"

"Yeah, that's not nice!"

"Please?" begged the boy.

"Okay, but just so you know . . .all magic comes with a price!"

"We don't care! We'll pay it!" Belle agreed.

"But Belle, we don't got any money!"

"Money schmoney! Who needs it?"

"Not I! I've got gold aplenty, lad!" Rumple grinned a most impish smile.

One that showed all his teeth like a crocodile!

"Then what do you need?" Belle wanted to know.

"My castle is large, and it's very dusty . . ."

He wrinkled his nose. "And it smells kind of musty."

"I know! I know!" Belle jumped up and down. "You need a caretaker!"

"But there's none to be found!"

"I'll go with you!" she offered.

"Belle! You can't! What will mom say? If you went away?"

"It's forever, dearie," the imp warned.

Belle thought and thought and THOUGHT.

Then she got an idea!

A brilliant, glittering, stupendous idea!

It was the best idea ever thunk!

And she thunk it up quick!

"Okay, Bae, you come too! Because going there's better than here, with nothing to do!"

"Mom's not gonna like it! She'll have a fit!"

"Then Mom can come too . . . how about it?"

"Very well, dearie. I suppose it won't matter . . .two kids and a mother . . ."

"Yeah! It's better than Liam's little brother!"

Belle nodded. "Hook's a crook!"

"With one hand and scowly look!" Bae said. "He tried to kidnap us!"

"But I beat him off with a book!" Belle said.

"Wonderful, dearie! Your cleverer than clever!"

"No one decides my fate but me!" Belle declared.

"It's no pirate's life for me!"

"I hope you made him walk the plank! Tee hee!"

"I shoved him on the floor!"

"He kissed the deck!"

"Then he didn't bother me anymore!"

"Cause he fell in love!"

"In love?" Rumple giggled.

"Uh huh. He shipped the floor hard."

Then they all laughed and laughed, jumping around.

Till Rumple cried, "Time to go! Tick tock! Tick tock!"

"Where's Mom?"

"Here she is!" Belle cried, as her mother came in.

"Good heavens! Rumplestiltskin!"

"You're just in time! Now let's all away! To the Dark Castle! Where we can play all day and all night. And drink tea from chipped cups, take my hand, and you'll see!"

He held out his hand.

And they all took it.

Then Rumple gestured, and they all disappeared.

To a far away forest, where they could play, and forget about how, on that cold cold wet day, they were stuck in the house with nothing to do.

Till Rumple came by, and struck a deal with the two.

Since anything was better than watching grass grow.

If it were you, wouldn't you go?


End file.
